It is January 11, 2011 or 1/11/11 for some reason I have been noticing the clock at 11:11 frequently for the last few days, and then again today. I take both the date and my noticing the time as pointing to our oneness. We are all connected for these is only Life which expresses itself in so many wonderful ways including you and me.
I am one with the One!
Peace,
Ric
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Friday, January 07, 2011
River Rushes Over Me
Hey God,
You are the River like in this song
running through my life.
running through my life.
Sometimes gentle
and sometimes
wild and raging.
W i d e then narrow,
fast and all at once still and serene.
fast and all at once still and serene.
I am once again navigating the rapids of change.
Life is asking more of me.
my past life
is rushing up in its wild and raw state-- flooding my mind and emotions.
Life is asking more of me.
my past life
is rushing up in its wild and raw state-- flooding my mind and emotions.
In the very moment I am overwhelmed by shame and anger
The River washes over me
Grace floods my heart and awareness.
I am a little smoother for the journey.
Oh Yeah!
Grace floods my heart and awareness.
I am a little smoother for the journey.
Oh Yeah!
Always in Love,
Ric
"Rolling River God" performed by Bridgette Bryant at Agape
(c) 2011 Richard L, Beattie , all rights reserved.
Wednesday, January 05, 2011
Lesson 1 continues - The voice -vs- The Voice.
(This post is in relation to Lesson 1 in the book, A Course in Weight Loss by Marianne Williamson. This is a journey that I am traveling personally and facilitating a group of people through at Renaissance Unity.)
From the emails I have received, conversations shared and posts in our group area, I am not the only one who is having a tough time getting started on or processing through this list of 25+ words.
There are two voices in my mind. The voice of my ego: shrill, judgmental, fearful, absolutely committed to keeping things, me stuck exactly where I have been for so long. The other Voice, the Voice for God: the voice of Love, calling to me to rise up and into a higher possibility, calling me to face the fears and move through them, reminding me that we are all connected and that I am not alone, reminding me that I do not have to rely on myself alone.
Just reading the list slowly, as MW suggests, triggers my monkey mind to go in several directions at once. One direction is something like, "Oh really Ric, what do you know about changing your image in relation to weight, have you looked in the mirror lately?" Another direction my ego takes is, "If you are really openly honest about all of these things, they (the congregation/you) will know how weak, messed up, incompetent, nuts you really are!" Looking at the ways I have shamed myself, judged both myself and others, dealt with injustice, been unjust, been fearful - oh there is the trigger word for today, fear.
Fear of letting myself down, fear of failing the congregation, fear of failing, fear of not being able to follow through. Fear of being a fool. Fear of allowing myself to be vulnerable & transparent and being ridiculed. No, that isn't the big one. Fear of having shared publicly in a sermon, in the class, through this blog and my conversations and then failing to make the changes personally.
I realize I am at choice, I can continue living the way I have been which is slowly killing me by limiting my physical activities and isolating me, even in a crowd of people. Crying tears in silence, rather like the tears of the clown. Or I can dare to follow The Voice for love & life and my highest and best - calling me to change and be the man I was created to be - and encourage others to live their best lives too.
So I press on, a word at a time, a painful memory at a time, a thought at a time. It's just a thought. I can hear Katie say, "a thought has no bearing on reality". If the thought is bringing me stress, I question it until it lets go of me, releases my mind. Each thought is bringing me useful information that I can take to inquiry.
I am grateful for "A Course in Weight Loss" that I am certain Marianne Williamson wrote for me. And I am grateful too that I have The Work to process the list of stressful thoughts my ego would use to keep me stuck. I find it interesting that earlier this year I attended The School for The Work. Then again, is it interesting or Divine Order? I find the universe is very friendly and supportive when I notice. More importantly, I am grateful for those sweet souls who are traveling this path with me.
Yes I can do this work and transform my life! And you can too because together, we create an incredible field of potentiality.
Only Love,
Ric
From the emails I have received, conversations shared and posts in our group area, I am not the only one who is having a tough time getting started on or processing through this list of 25+ words.
There are two voices in my mind. The voice of my ego: shrill, judgmental, fearful, absolutely committed to keeping things, me stuck exactly where I have been for so long. The other Voice, the Voice for God: the voice of Love, calling to me to rise up and into a higher possibility, calling me to face the fears and move through them, reminding me that we are all connected and that I am not alone, reminding me that I do not have to rely on myself alone.
Just reading the list slowly, as MW suggests, triggers my monkey mind to go in several directions at once. One direction is something like, "Oh really Ric, what do you know about changing your image in relation to weight, have you looked in the mirror lately?" Another direction my ego takes is, "If you are really openly honest about all of these things, they (the congregation/you) will know how weak, messed up, incompetent, nuts you really are!" Looking at the ways I have shamed myself, judged both myself and others, dealt with injustice, been unjust, been fearful - oh there is the trigger word for today, fear.
Fear of letting myself down, fear of failing the congregation, fear of failing, fear of not being able to follow through. Fear of being a fool. Fear of allowing myself to be vulnerable & transparent and being ridiculed. No, that isn't the big one. Fear of having shared publicly in a sermon, in the class, through this blog and my conversations and then failing to make the changes personally.
I realize I am at choice, I can continue living the way I have been which is slowly killing me by limiting my physical activities and isolating me, even in a crowd of people. Crying tears in silence, rather like the tears of the clown. Or I can dare to follow The Voice for love & life and my highest and best - calling me to change and be the man I was created to be - and encourage others to live their best lives too.
So I press on, a word at a time, a painful memory at a time, a thought at a time. It's just a thought. I can hear Katie say, "a thought has no bearing on reality". If the thought is bringing me stress, I question it until it lets go of me, releases my mind. Each thought is bringing me useful information that I can take to inquiry.
I am grateful for "A Course in Weight Loss" that I am certain Marianne Williamson wrote for me. And I am grateful too that I have The Work to process the list of stressful thoughts my ego would use to keep me stuck. I find it interesting that earlier this year I attended The School for The Work. Then again, is it interesting or Divine Order? I find the universe is very friendly and supportive when I notice. More importantly, I am grateful for those sweet souls who are traveling this path with me.
Yes I can do this work and transform my life! And you can too because together, we create an incredible field of potentiality.
Only Love,
Ric
Sunday, January 02, 2011
The Connection Between Food Stains & A Wall of Bricks
One hundred thirty-five people showed up for the first class in the series focused on Marianne Williamson's book A Course in Weight Loss this afternoon. So many people holding an intention together has created a powerful field of resonance. I am so grateful to have such a band of travelers on this journey. Many dear friends that I know well and another group of people that I don't know so well yet.
My approach to teaching this is very different that anything I have done in the past. It isn't like I have mastered this material already and am now sharing what I know. This class is live and alive. The strategy I have been guided to follow is to share my own journey as honestly and self revealing as I can. We are going to travel this journey of discovery and healing, together.
The assignment for our next meeting on January 23 is to read and journal the items in Lesson 1, Tear Down the Wall. The idea behind the lesson is that we have built a wall of bricks between ourselves and other people/life in order to protect ourselves.
The first "brick" in the wall is shame. So many images flood my mind, so much shame in me about my body, food, eating, clothing, etc.
On New Year's Eve, two of my dearest friends and I decided to check out the "scene" in Royal Oak after we finished our annual Burning Bowl service. Royal Oak was host to a free concert and ball drop and it had been years since any of us had done anything on New Year's Eve.
We began our evening with dinner. After a wait for a table (we did not have reservations) , we were seated in a booth. I normally do not sit at booths in restaurants because I cannot sit forward at my current size. Most people do not realize that they sit forward as they eat to keep the fork and food over their plate. If something drops from fork or mouth, it ends up back on the plate.
When I sit in a booth that is fairly narrow, I often find that I am reclining slightly, away from the table. If any food falls from my fork or a drip of soup or whatever, it ends up on my shirt. I knew that a couple of items had fallen as we had eaten our meal but when I went to the mens room and had a look at myself in the mirror, I was mortified. Several small stains were plainly visible along with the mother of all gravy stains, clearly visible. My attempt to clean myself up just left a larger, more visible smear.
I hurriedly got back to my friends and let them know that I was tired and going home. I was too ashamed to share that I was going home because I had stains all over the front of my shirt. I know that my friends love me unconditionally and would not judge me and still the shame was so great, I could barely stand. Carefully, I moved through the crowd to the relative safety/isolation of my car and then home.
This is just one shameful incident and shame is only one brick in a wall that is high and thick and so very effective at keeping others/love away.
Dear God,
Help me notice the feelings and thoughts that have formed into bricks.
Help me release them to You so that I might be whole.
I want to love and be loved.
Help me let Love into my life and heart.
May we all experience the transformational power of Love on this journey of discovery.
Give us all the courage to open our hearts to each other and to You.
Shine a light into this darkness that causes it to vanish forevermore.
Thank You God!
Amen
On the journey,
Ric
My approach to teaching this is very different that anything I have done in the past. It isn't like I have mastered this material already and am now sharing what I know. This class is live and alive. The strategy I have been guided to follow is to share my own journey as honestly and self revealing as I can. We are going to travel this journey of discovery and healing, together.
The assignment for our next meeting on January 23 is to read and journal the items in Lesson 1, Tear Down the Wall. The idea behind the lesson is that we have built a wall of bricks between ourselves and other people/life in order to protect ourselves.
The first "brick" in the wall is shame. So many images flood my mind, so much shame in me about my body, food, eating, clothing, etc.
On New Year's Eve, two of my dearest friends and I decided to check out the "scene" in Royal Oak after we finished our annual Burning Bowl service. Royal Oak was host to a free concert and ball drop and it had been years since any of us had done anything on New Year's Eve.
We began our evening with dinner. After a wait for a table (we did not have reservations) , we were seated in a booth. I normally do not sit at booths in restaurants because I cannot sit forward at my current size. Most people do not realize that they sit forward as they eat to keep the fork and food over their plate. If something drops from fork or mouth, it ends up back on the plate.
When I sit in a booth that is fairly narrow, I often find that I am reclining slightly, away from the table. If any food falls from my fork or a drip of soup or whatever, it ends up on my shirt. I knew that a couple of items had fallen as we had eaten our meal but when I went to the mens room and had a look at myself in the mirror, I was mortified. Several small stains were plainly visible along with the mother of all gravy stains, clearly visible. My attempt to clean myself up just left a larger, more visible smear.
I hurriedly got back to my friends and let them know that I was tired and going home. I was too ashamed to share that I was going home because I had stains all over the front of my shirt. I know that my friends love me unconditionally and would not judge me and still the shame was so great, I could barely stand. Carefully, I moved through the crowd to the relative safety/isolation of my car and then home.
This is just one shameful incident and shame is only one brick in a wall that is high and thick and so very effective at keeping others/love away.
Dear God,
Help me notice the feelings and thoughts that have formed into bricks.
Help me release them to You so that I might be whole.
I want to love and be loved.
Help me let Love into my life and heart.
May we all experience the transformational power of Love on this journey of discovery.
Give us all the courage to open our hearts to each other and to You.
Shine a light into this darkness that causes it to vanish forevermore.
Thank You God!
Amen
On the journey,
Ric
Saturday, January 01, 2011
Happy New Year, New You & New Me too!
Happy New Years Day! I am watching the final rays of a most glorious sunset as this first day of a New Year slowly gives way to the nighttime.
I have enjoyed this day spent reading Marianne Williamson's new book, A Course in Weight Loss, listening to a webcast on emerging consciousness, walking the neighborhood and quietly reflecting on the areas of my life that have been in motion lately. Front and center of which is my recent participation in The School for The Work of Byron Katie in Los Angeles this past October.
It feels like there is a huge connection between The Work and A Course in Weight Loss for me. When I was getting ready for The School for The Work, I set and held an intention of developing a new relationship with my body and of learning to release this barrier I had created that keeps people at a distance personally. As I read A Course in Weight Loss in order to prepare for our first session in the class I am leading at church, this seems to be next in this process of personal transformation that began in earnest at The School in October.
I don't know exactly where this is all leading, yet I feel big energy moving in and around me. I believe this process is the next step in several areas of my journey. I surrender myself to the process, trusting that Love is my guide and is leading the way.
I have enjoyed this day spent reading Marianne Williamson's new book, A Course in Weight Loss, listening to a webcast on emerging consciousness, walking the neighborhood and quietly reflecting on the areas of my life that have been in motion lately. Front and center of which is my recent participation in The School for The Work of Byron Katie in Los Angeles this past October.
It feels like there is a huge connection between The Work and A Course in Weight Loss for me. When I was getting ready for The School for The Work, I set and held an intention of developing a new relationship with my body and of learning to release this barrier I had created that keeps people at a distance personally. As I read A Course in Weight Loss in order to prepare for our first session in the class I am leading at church, this seems to be next in this process of personal transformation that began in earnest at The School in October.
I don't know exactly where this is all leading, yet I feel big energy moving in and around me. I believe this process is the next step in several areas of my journey. I surrender myself to the process, trusting that Love is my guide and is leading the way.
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