Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Please help us look at what happened after Katrina ploughed into the Gulf Coast without judging each other or ourselves.
This is not about Republicans or Democrats.
This is not about liberal or conservative.
This is not about liturgical or evangelical.
This is not about Jew or Muslim or Christian.
This is about people.
This is about Human Beings!
This is about Fellow Earthlings.
This is about Family.
And this is a shame.
Shame on us for our arrogance and unwillingness to do everything we could do.
Now and then.
Recently and historically.
It is time to change the way we live,
individually and collectively.
Help us God to get over our ego's and ourselves.
(c) Copyright - by Richard L. Beattie on Sept 6, 2005
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
I remember the day I first saw him as a baby and I shall never forget finding him dead in bed at his apartment.
Good reminder to live in the moment!
Thursday, June 23, 2005
Thank You for the courage of the US Episcopal and Canadian Anglican churches. It seems that both of these groups are following in your footsteps by bucking the status quo in favor of unconditional love.
Thank you for the courage of the people in Pasadena and for their pastor, The Rev. Susan Russell.
Thank you Lord for being the Higher Authority. May the Anglican Consultative Council awaken and rise up in love and compassion.
Friday, June 17, 2005
Stranger Than Fiction!
I had to read this article twice because I could hardly believe it. The huge British charity, Oxfam recently paid the government of Sri Lanka 1 million dollars in import duty for some all terrain vehicles that Oxfam needed to assist the people of Sri Lanka rebuild after the Tsunami of last year. Supposedly, this duty policy is to encourage local procurement, which is fine under normal circumstances. In another twist, Sri Lanka does not even produce automobiles.
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
Modern times, ancient tactic.
Historically, governments have attempted to control access to the "press," to the exchange of ideas and information, as a way to control people. The press today includes the Internet, the worldwide blogging craze, Internet radio stations and email systems that can send thousands of messages per hour.
Standing at the foot of a moving mountain of information is the government of China, the most populous nation on the planet, swatting at the avalanche with a broom.
The question is not really about Google or Yahoo or Microsoft, It is a question about fear. Fear of the truth. Fear of change, of things being different than they had been. Fear of losing control and power. We cannot fight fear, for it truly is a no-thing. Fear, like darkness, is dispelled by lighting a lamp. Let us hold the people of China in Light, knowing that Truth will always find a way to shine. Of course, letters to the Chinese and other governments, flexing our economic muscles by "voting" with our purchases and travel are important efforts too. As we continue to shine light on the darkness, it will disappear into the nothingness from which it appeared.
In thinking about repression of freedom and choiuce, in China and elsewhere, I am grateful to be able to write what I want to in this blog. Freedom is precious. Perhaps Microsoft, et. al. must conform to the will of the government of China. But you and I can speak up, hold out and hold on to the truth. As Margaret Mead once said, "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."
Friday, June 03, 2005
One year ago this morning, I had just let the cat out and laid back down for those 15 minutes of quality "snoozed the alarm" sleep that seem like the best of the entire cycle. Then, an odd and funny feeling in my chest presented itself. Suddenly, I sat straight up in bed as I realized that I knew what was happening. I was pretty sure I was having a heart attack.
I took an aspirin and asked my roommate to drive me to the hospital. Five hours later, Dr. Dickey looked down at me at said, "Well, Ric--you have either just had or are currently having a heart attack."
I said, "What the #$^@ does that mean?"
In a moment I became aware that everything about life had changed. I have said it many times, "Having a heart attack is a highly underrated form of personal transformation."
Thank You God for a year without a cigarette! I am absolutely amazed and mystified.
Thank You for a new consciousness about:
- More ...
Thank You for this journey into the heart of It--that we are travel each day!
I love You! And I love me too.
Monday, April 18, 2005
And yet, isn't that just life? I think so.
I am so glad that the weather has finally warmed. I can walk and talk and be with Love!
Friday, March 11, 2005
Monday, March 07, 2005
It's Monday morning and I am lingering at home with You for a few minutes before I plunge into another week. The weekend was very nice. I attended both of my favorite churches and heard two incredible messages. I see the role that they both play for me at this time and there is still a missing piece I think. Could I find a spiritual community that was a blend of the two? Could I help create such a community?
One of the thoughts that has been bobbing around in my mind for the past couple days is about how easy it is to sing praise songs and to worship you, but that is not living by faith. Jesus said to love You with all of my being and to love my neighbor as myself. The words sound sweet to say and to hear. I want to live a faith that is real and meaningful and beyond pretty words. May my actions and attitude, words and thoughts (yes, even my "private" thoughts) be loving and encouraging. Jesus, help me walk with You.
There are so many issues and challenges that seem to demand my time--so much to do. Direct my days and my activities in ways that I understand. Guide my life today and this week. Help me to notice Your presence. Grant me the courage to live in love with everyone. Help me make it real.
Thank You for the journey I am traveling. Thank You for the work that I have to do. Thank You for the abundance You share with me so generously.
I love you God!
(c) 2005 by Richard L. Beattie
Saturday, February 19, 2005
I have been thinking about you all day and I still miss you. It has been eleven years and still, I miss you.
I can remember the events of that day so vividly, as if it unfolded in slow-motion. The death of a parent is one of those "milestone" moments in a child's life. At some level, we must realize fairly young that we will probably bury our parents. Until it happens however, it is just an intellectual knowing and it doesn't hurt.
You seem to be getting smarter to me every year. I can still hear your voice at times--especially, your infectious laughter. I miss the time we used to spend at the end of the work day, talking about all the odd interests we shared. History and technology, space and extra terrestrials, politics and taxes. I recall your frequent statement that there was going to be some very cool shit developed in the next 100 years and you wished you could be around to see it.
Well, I wish you were around too! This has been a tough eleven years. So much death and change. I have tried to take care of things. Sometimes, I wish you had been able call you and get a little advice. Seems like at the point in my life when I was willing to really listen and even seek out your council, you were gone.
Friday, February 18, 2005
Monday, February 14, 2005
Some say this day was created by the greeting card companies and floral industry and maybe that is true. But so what?
I think that being focused on love in a big way for a day is a wonderful thing. Valentines day is not about what you buy for your spouse or lover, it is not about how large a bouquet of flowers you send. This holiday can be about opening our hearts to those we care about and letting them know how we feel.
The bible tells us that God is love. On this St. Valentines day, let us acknowledge the sacred source of love and hold this day holy by keeping it real and honest and close to our hearts.
Thank You for Your love which fills and fuels our lives.
Thank You for love and for the people who love us.
Today, we open our hearts to each other and share what we feel without reservation.
Expand our ability to care deeply for one another and for our selves.
Help us not get hung-up on who or what introduced this holiday but focus instead on the incredible intention to bring more love into being in our world.
Instead of being caught in the frenzy to purchase the best, prettiest and most extravagant gift;
we intend to be open, honest and loving today and always.
copyright (c) 2005 by Richard L. Beattie
Saturday, February 12, 2005
What a glorious day this has been.
The new client and new possibilities are wonderful. Thank You God!
Thank You for leading me to attend church tonight to hear a terrific message.
Thank You for the consciousness awareness of Your presence.
Intellectually, I know that You are always with me.
But, when I actually notice that awareness, it is so sweet and deliscious.
Hold me close to Your sacred heart.
Sweet dreams of Your love and peace bless my sleep and renew my spirit.
I love You.
02/12/05 - copyright (c) 2005 by Richard L. Beattie
Friday, February 11, 2005
This day has begun to unfurl. I pray that each activity and every circumstance that I encounter today be guided by the Love that has created me. I open my heart and my mind to Your presence. I lift my hands and my voice in prayer and praise to You.
Here I am Lord! Use me for Your purposes. Love Your people through me.
So it is!
(c) 2005 by Richard L. Beattie, all rights reserved
Thursday, February 10, 2005
My intention is to be focused on You today.
May my heart be guided by the love You fill me with.
May my words be sweet and uplifting.
May my thoughts be generous and kind.
May my speech and my words be gracious and gentle.
Pour Yourself into and through every aspect of my life,
guide the way I work, how I live and what I say.
May all who encounter me receive the attention and respect they deserve.
May my living be as a witness to Your grace and love.
Thank You God!
(c) 2005 by Richard L. Beattie, all rights reserved
Thursday, February 03, 2005
Eight months ago today my entire life changed.
On June 3, 2004, a doctor in an emergency room leaned over me and said, "Ric, you had just had or are currently having a heart attack. "I looked up at him and muttered, "What the &*$% does that mean?"
And then, I let it go. It just didn't seem to matter. It occurred to me that I was not going to get to have a cigarette or go home. And I realized that life had suddenly gotten very real. And I knew that it was time to bring things into balance. I had been flirting with danger and skirting the consequences of many years of poor choices.
I will tell you that having a heart attack is a highly effective form of personal transformation. I quit smoking as well as I discovered that I had high blood pressure, high cholesterol and diabetes--all in a single day. Everything changed. Quick! Fast! And in a hurry!
Thank You God for the changes! Since that most interesting day I have changed what and how I eat, adopted a robust exercise program, learned about coronary artery disease, embraced my
physical being in a whole new way and I am caring for myself with love.
Thank You God for my sacred heart.
Thank You God for this life, which I love.
Thank You God!
So it is.
And so I am.
(c) 2005 by Richard L. Beattie, all rights reserved
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
And for the most part, I always have.
At times, I was not sure what it was I was hearing
or if I were merely mad and listening to my own thoughts.
Hearing You is sometimes like a gnawing in my gut
or a tapping on my feelings.
Hearing You can seem like catching the sound of the wind through trees.
Sometimes, I have intentionally ignored what I heard.
Busying myself with all manner of distractions and fluff.
Now, I focus on the hearing--on being in relationship with You.
You know me and You know my name--the very essence of me.
What shall we do today?
How would You have me show up in the world?
I know that You have called me into love.
Express Yourself in me now.
I love You!
Thank You very much.
(c) Copyright 2005 by Richard L. Beattie, all rights reserved
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
Monday, January 31, 2005
Sunday, January 30, 2005
What a day!
Standing at the end of the day, looking back to its beginning, this last Sunday working at Renaissance Unity Church has been oddly unremarkable. I had thought that it would be an emotional and tear-filled day, and that seemed the case during the first service, head greeters & ushers circle. However, that on-the-edge feeling came and went as the day unfolded.
I am aware of a quiet grieving that has crept into my space in the past couple of days. Turning the page on this chapter of my life is at once, satisfying and sad. I gratefully remember the love and fun and regret many things that never got beyond thoughts or plans.
I find myself wondering what next week/month/year look like. And with the awareness of that particular thread of wondering, in a rush, I return to this now moment. It is ALL about staying focused on now.
The message I heard last night at Kensington Church about taking life from good to great has crossed my mind several times today. I am looking forward to hearing the rest of the messages in the series.
What a glorious afternoon, sunny and 33°. After so many frigid days, it was great to get out and walk six miles. I had let far too many days without significant exercise get by me. No more! I am happy to be back on the walking path.
Saturday, January 29, 2005
How many times have I asked myself this or similar questions? Who will I be when I grow up? Do I want to grow up?
Having a heart attack is a highly underrated and very effective form of radical life transformation. I had a mild heart attack on June 3, 2004 and nothing will ever be the same. Hallelujah!
In a couple of days, my employment relationship will change as a result of my own decision. After running a manufacturing company for twelve years and Executive Administrator for a large ministry for the past three and a half years, I am venturing out on my own! I have wrestled with this decision for a long time and might be wrestling still but life kept pushing. Finally, I could no longer ignore the pains of pushing. It is time to birth this next phase of living. Birth, as we all know, is not without its messes.
Many people have asked what my plans are. And I say, I am not exactly sure yet. I deliberately move forward into the mystery of my life. My intention is to remain focused on this moment. I have had some guidance that I won’t necessarily be doing any one thing or job. I have also had guidance that God is going to eliminate my indebtedness, for which I am grateful beyond words. I had gotten into debt as the manufacturing company went under and then subsequently owed the IRS a fairly large sum as well. But that is a story for another entry.
I have more than 20 years of experience with computers & networks and more recently with the Internet. I have started to study in order to become a Microsoft Certified Professional (MCSE). This is the direction I am currently being led as far as generating cash flow. Spirit is also nudging me that I will find cash flowing as a result of doing what I am guided to do. So whatever that means. I readily accept the abundance that is pouring into my life now.
And in the midst of all of the rest of this change, I met and began dating someone early in January. He is a very sweet, kind and gentle man. And I am having the opportunity to move through stuff I didn’t realize I had about being relationships.
There are several ideas/concepts that keep cropping up in my reading, musing, wandering, thinking. It feels somehow like these ideas are ingredients in an emerging stew or broth. It feels like my life is morphing into something be very different as I approach fifty.
- Working with, developing and listening to inner guidance, the Voice for God and teaching other people about having a moment-by-moment experience of God. This is about becoming a mystic and there is nothing else that I do that is nearly as important.
- I am a mystic, shaman, teacher, minister and healer. I am he who walks between worlds!
- Loving myself unconditionally - the journey has finally begun.
- Solitude, exploring the center of me, living in my power.
- Bridge building between gay and straight folks. We must learn that we are all the same, we are truly One!
- Writing, workshops and public speaking.
- Healing and wholeness. The past 15 years have been a wild rollercoaster journey that has deposited me in a foreign and exciting place.
- More friends for sharing the journey.
- Gay men’s work - Inner child work – and whatever else arises for my own wholeness and in terms of some of my life work.
- Integration of spirituality & sexuality. I have been feeling like I should focus more of my energies within the queer community. Although I also want to avoid a self-made ghetto. There is interesting work being done by many different groups and people in the areas of reclaiming our spirituality. I am sensing that there is a group or teacher that I will be collaborating with in some way.
- Ministry - what does it mean to minister? Who and where am I called to serve.
- Increased focus on what is real and important – less distraction or investment in things that are distracting.
- A simpler, more focused and sustainable way of being
- Becoming the make equivalent of a crone (after I learn what that is.)
- Physical health/walking/diet!
- Integration/inclusion of my body in my life. Reconnecting with myself physically – I seem to have disassociated myself from the physicality at some point.
- Demonstrating/teaching what I hold to be true
Living, moving, loving Spirit of All,
I do not know how or where You are leading me.
I am dependent on You and trusting that You are guiding me.
The ground is no longer clearly visible,
I feel like I am standing on the edge of something.
Help me stay centered and focused.
I know that You provide everything I require to do the work You are calling me to do.
For too long, I have held myself back. You have been calling to me for many years and I have only listened and responded partially.
The past is past.
Now is the time and I have begun already.
Thank You for the intimacy of our relationship.
Thank You for expressing Yourself in me and as me.
I have no idea where we are headed, God.
Lead the way and I will follow.
Copyright © 2005 by Richard L. Beattie – all rights reserved
Thursday, January 27, 2005
At the luncheon, Linda P. spoke about how I might think I'll be getting away from the early and late phone calls but that she still would call. She also spoke about the role that I played for her during the past few years. That part really touched me because I am clear that one of my primary "jobs" was to be and hold a certain space on the Executive Team.
This evening, we had a good Rainbow Unity meeting! I am so thankful for the group and all that it has meant to me for the past 5 years or so that we have been meeting.
The day was not as emotional as I thought it might be. Still, I am aware of the rawness of my feelings just beneath the surface. I wonder when it will come flooding out?
Thank You for the work I have be blessed to do at church for the past few years.
Thank You for the people who have touched me and opened their hearts to me.
Thank You for the skills I have honed and sharpened.
Thank You for the admin team!
They have been my right and left hand.
In Your name I bless Renaissance Unity.
So be it!
Copyright (c) 2005 by Richard L. Beattie - all rights are reserved.
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
|It is cold and gray outside--a typical mid-winter Michigan morning. Soon, I will to go into the church where I have been employed for the past three and a half years as Executive Administrator and continue working on the wrap-up and hand off of my duties project as I come to the end of my employment. It is interesting to me that even though I am voluntarily leaving in response to what I perceive to be a "calling" from God, my gut is churning and my mind is in a bit of a spin the past couple of days. I gave notice to my employer at the beginning of December because I believe that Spirit is nudging/urging me in a different direction. I am leaving my current job without having a specific job lined up at a time when managing personal cash flow has been an ongoing challenge. Today, I have been a little in the fearful "What the *&^% am I doing?" space, and it feel yucky. It is so not about what am I supposed to do. I know what I am supposed to do and that is stay focused on God in this moment. Literally to let God and let go.|
I surrender. Either I am "listening" to internal guidance, the Voice for God if you will--or I am hearing voices. Interesting stuff really, especially for me. I have the deepest intuitive sense that not knowing exactly what is next is part of or even the focus of the current process I find myself in. Staying in the moment, listening for guidance and taking action as I am directed.
This morning I can hear my dear friend, Rev. Sandy Scott, teaching that we all have an ego or, as she often referred to it, a monkey on our shoulder that is whispering in our ear. The message from this mouth is often something like: "So, who do you think you are that God should have a mission or a plan for you? Who are you kidding?" We all have a version of this whiny, self-doubting loudmouth but we do not have to give it the microphone. We can call upon the spirit of God within us for reinforcement and courage and peace.
I surrender control of my life to You.
In those moments where the muck of self-doubt seems to be pulling me in, hold onto me.
I place my trust in and my focus on You alone.
I have often heard that to demonstrate is to teach, and I get it God. It is time for me to demonstrate.
I am relying on You to guide my day, actions, thoughts, the way I make and spend money, literally my very life.
Help me get out of my way and allow Your spirit to pour itself though every cell and moment and thought of my existence.
Less of me and more of Thee!
So it is.
Copyright (c) 2005 by Richard L. Beattie - all rights are reserved.
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
I do know this: God has a plan and a purpose for my life and I consciously and willingly surrender myself to that plan and purpose.
Happy birthday to my sister girlfriend Charlette Manning, http://www.charlettemanning.com - Charlette is the best!
(c) Copyright 2005 by Richard L. Beattie www.richardbeattie.com - all rights reserved!
Monday, January 24, 2005
Hold on - everything is changing!
Change has been the consistent and persistent message from Spirit since last June 3 and the heart attack that seemed to launch me into so many new directions.
It is Monday morning of the last full week of my current employment. Emotionally, this is an interesting and challenging time. I am occasionally wistful about the people I will miss and the future activities I will not be part of. A couple of days ago, I picked up a document that I had printed and noticed that someone had printed a copy of the birthday list that we use to remember everyone’s birthday. I glanced at November and noticed that my name and date had been removed. Oh my! This was an unexpected sharp jab in the emotional solar plexus. Now, intellectually I realize that I am leaving and that I will not be part of the staff as by next birthday rolls around--but this is one of those times when intellect and emotion provide differing experiences of the same event.
Still, I feel the deep-in-the-guts nudge that I know to be Spirit, urging me forward. This is the same inward push that led me to give notice at the beginning of December that I was going to leave my job at the end of January. Mind you, I am doing this without having a job lined up. Wow…
Yet, when I find myself falling into fear-based patterns of wondering, “Okay Ric, what the heck have you done now?” something pops-up to remind me of the larger picture that God seems to be painting.
Last Friday evening, I officiated the funeral of a 40-year-old man who apparently had a heart attack as a result of drug use. I was immediately impressed by how easily that could have been me 16 years ago. How many times I had taken that big hit on a pipe and fell the pounding of my heart in my chest and wondered if I would make it … Thank You God I have made it thus far!
I receive a sense of satisfaction and purpose when I officiate at a funeral. Not that I enjoy that a family has had a loss. However, assisting families at this time uses some gifts that I have been given and is extremely rewarding.
As I talked with this man’s family, I could feel his presence close to me. I sensed the pain and turmoil of a man who had never quite fit in with the world around him. He was a biracial gay man in a primarily conservative white, straight family and he never seemed to get “over the hump” of owning and being proud of who and what he was.
Once again, I realize that part of my divine assignment is to minister to those who have bought the lie that they are outside of the family of Love!
Thank You for the reminders that there is much “work” for me to do.
I have no idea how this day or the next week will unfold.
I do not know how I will earn a living after the next paycheck.
I am clear that it is not particularly my business to know so I am placing myself in Your hands and care.
It is my intention to trust that you are in each moment and to focus on Your presence alone.
Fill me with strength and the sense to do as I am guided.
Where do You want me to go today?
© Richard L. Beattie 01/24/2005