The Connection Between Food Stains & A Wall of Bricks

One hundred thirty-five people showed up for the first class in the series focused on Marianne Williamson's book A Course in Weight Loss this afternoon. So many people holding an intention together has created a powerful field of resonance. I am so grateful to have such a band of travelers on this journey. Many dear friends that I know well and another group of people that I don't know so well yet. 


My approach to teaching this is very different that anything I have done in the past. It isn't like I have mastered this material already and am now sharing what I know.  This class is live and alive.  The strategy  I have been guided to follow is to share my own journey as honestly and self revealing as I can. We are going to travel this journey of discovery and healing, together. 


The assignment for our next meeting on January 23 is to read and journal the items in Lesson 1, Tear Down the Wall. The idea behind the lesson is that we have  built a wall of bricks between ourselves and other people/life in order to protect ourselves.


The first "brick" in the wall is shame. So many images flood my mind, so much shame in me about my body, food, eating, clothing, etc. 


On New Year's Eve, two of my dearest friends and I decided to check out the "scene" in Royal Oak after we finished our annual Burning Bowl service. Royal Oak was host to a free concert and ball drop and it had been years since any of us had done anything on New Year's Eve.


We began our evening with dinner. After a wait for a table (we did not have reservations) , we were seated in a booth.  I normally do not sit at booths in restaurants because I cannot sit forward at my current size. Most people do not realize that they sit forward as they eat to keep the fork and food over their plate. If something drops from fork or mouth, it ends up back on the plate. 


When I sit in a booth that is fairly narrow, I often find that I am reclining slightly,  away from the table. If any food falls from my fork or a drip of soup or whatever, it ends up on my shirt. I knew that a couple of items had fallen as we had eaten our meal but when I went to the mens room and had a look at myself in the mirror, I was mortified. Several small stains were plainly visible along with the mother of all gravy stains, clearly visible. My attempt to clean myself up just left a larger, more visible smear.


I hurriedly got back to my friends and let them know that I was tired and going home. I was too ashamed to share that I was going home because I had stains all over the front of my shirt. I  know that my friends love me unconditionally and would not judge me and still the shame was so great, I could barely stand. Carefully, I moved through the crowd to the relative safety/isolation of my car and then home. 


This is just one shameful incident and shame is only one brick in a wall that is high and thick and so very effective at keeping others/love away.


Dear God,
Help me notice the feelings and thoughts that have formed into bricks.
Help me release them to You so that I might be whole.
I want to love and be loved.
Help me let Love into my life and heart.
May we all experience the transformational power of Love on this journey of discovery.
Give us all the courage to open our hearts to each other and to You.
Shine a light into this darkness that causes it to vanish forevermore.
Thank You God!
Amen


On the journey,
Ric

Happy New Year, New You & New Me too!

Happy New Years Day! I am watching the final rays of a most glorious sunset as this first day of a New Year slowly gives way to the nighttime.


I have enjoyed this day spent reading Marianne Williamson's new book, A Course in Weight Loss, listening to a webcast on emerging consciousness, walking the neighborhood and quietly reflecting on the areas of my life that have been in motion lately. Front and center of which is my recent participation in The School for The Work of Byron Katie in Los Angeles this past October.


It feels like there is a huge connection between The Work and A Course in Weight Loss for me. When I was getting ready for The School for The Work, I set and held an intention of developing a new relationship with my body and of learning to release this barrier I had created that keeps people at a distance personally. As I read A Course in Weight Loss in order to prepare for our first session in the class I am leading at church, this seems to be next in this process of personal transformation that began in earnest at The School in October.


I don't know exactly where this is all leading, yet I feel big energy moving in and around me. I believe this process is the next step in several areas of my journey. I surrender myself to the process, trusting that Love is my guide and is leading the way.

Who is that man behind the curtain/mask/insulation?

Many speakers, preachers & teachers (including me) say, "I always teach what I most need to learn."  During last Sunday's sermon, when I shared the plans for the upcoming class I'm leading on Marianne Williamson's newest book A Course in Weight Loss, I knew that it would touch others though I underestimated just how many. I am encouraged and humbled by the number of people who want to travel this path with me.


As I prepare the class outline,  I notice how many of the questions in the book take me directly to the process of inquiry known as The Work of Byron Katie. I notice the many stories I have created or adopted (from other folk) about my body and my weight. Who am I without the stories?


My ego is screaming at me, "I can't believe you dumped it all out in public during a sermon. Why are you doing this to us? Don't you see that everyone knows now. They are all laughing at us now. Who do you think you are? You are not smart/serious/grown up/ enough to pull this off. How will you explain it away when you fail miserably? How are you going to lead a group of people into a place you have only visited, and never for very long?" My ego is trying to drag me into The Hole:

So I say to my ego, Peace - Be still. Now is the time. I am not relying solely on myself for I have surrendered this deep stuck place to the Holy Spirit, a power greater that I am which does for me what I have not been able to accomplish. I am not afraid of my own darkness for it is merely the absence of light and not real. 


I am not alone and neither are you! Make this an awesome day in some way.


Only Love,


Ric

Farewell Miss Jeannie

I attended the memorial service for a giant of a woman this afternoon. Rest In peace Jeanne Frazier, thou good and faithful servant. Miss Jeannie as we called her at church, was an amazing woman. Her faith was enormous and her word was impeccable. She would often call you, "my love" in a way that made you know she meant it.

Miss Jeanie was grateful for every moment and rooted in the present in a powerful way. Thank you for sharing your gifts and faith with so many of us.

Otherwise, this has been a slow down take it easy day off. A bit of a cold is trying to settle in so a great day for some reading in " A Course in Weight Loss" in order to finalize our upcoming class. Many people expressed interest in being part of this journey. Come Holy Spirit and take us to the core of the issue.